You tell me I don't when I do
I won't say you don't know coz it would piss you off
Losing a friend's trust and losing the ability to give a friend trust sucks
But yet, I can't be plightful
No matter all the shit that's happening in my life now
Can't you for one second take into account how I feel and how AWKWARD it is for me?
I don't hate you
I'm not that kind of guy
How can I?
Honestly, I want to, but IT's been pulling me back
I just don't want to be hated
I'm the guy who screws himself inside out when he does something wrong and would find a reason to screw himself inside out just so he doesn't find faults in his friends
And wonderful, you're allowing me to screw myself
Honestly, it's the first time anyone's ever done that to me, but I somehow feel glad that I'm not getting stick for doing that
Well, if it makes you happy, I'll say it - My life rocks and I have no reason and don't deserve to be sad/pity myself/be plightful/say how i feel/assume things/saying you don't know things
Doesn't it?
But you can't disagree when I say you don't know me
I can't stop myself from telling myself negative things when I know it isn't gonna make my life any better
What even makes you think I want my life to be any better?
I don't right now, coz I deserve this
I WANT to screw myself up
And I'll only stop when they day comes when you're ready to forgive and forget
But right now, I don't deserve the right to feel happy
Why?
Coz I've disappointed you, made you angry, made you despise this whole situation
You don't think that I care
But I DO
A LOT
And I still do see you as a friend
And fyi, if this whole thing continues on forever, don't worry, coz I'll only retain the February memories
I only remember the best in people when I move on(: